![]() There are no threats, except a couple of choice insects, and I can’t even fall off a hillside. I can dye my hair pink and lay a picnic basket along the river’s edge. I can fish on the seaside or chase a blue butterfly. It has the telltale signs: chibi animals talking in high-pitched mumblesqueaks, a lazy island guitar soundtrack, flowers literally everywhere. Widely lauded- including by WIRED-as the perfect pastime for this quarantine moment, Animal Crossing: New Horizons must mean to be relaxing. The host of a Netflix gardening show might issue a begrudging nod toward my patchy garden before they trip on a half-buried tire on their way out and stumble into a bramble of unpruned weeds. My landscaping looks like the set of Holes. My house in Animal Crossing: New Horizons looks like the “guys really live in apartments like this” meme.
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